Deep Pockets

There are two things that really bother me about going to the dentist - besides the usual fear of dentists and hating the poking and cleaning. 

1) I can’t tell if I should believe them

2) I don’t like getting told how to brush my teeth and floss. 

When you go to the gynecologist, does the doctor ask “So are you properly cleaning up there?  How many times a day do you do your kegels?  Well that’s not what I’m seeing…here let me use this mirror and show you where I’m seeing signs of neglect…”

When you go to the optometrist, do they ask “Are you taking good care of your eyes?  Do you wear your sunglasses every day?  Do you sit too close to the TV?  You know that’s really bad for you.”

It is only the dentist who asks how often you brush and floss. And no matter what you say, you’ll get a lecture and instructions. 

After moving to Sonoma County a year ago, I finally signed up with a new local dentist. I decided to try very hard to go without a chip on my shoulder.

At 9:00am, a very energetic lady took me for x-rays and initiated a conversation about her new music lessons; she is learning to play the saxophone.  In between the little things they stick in your mouth between clicking the x-ray button, I provided encouraging banter about beginner saxophone practice. 

The dentist saw me after that. A very pleasant fellow. He told me that everything looked good BUT….I have an old crown that he recommends replacing and one spot with receding gums…I may want to consider a graft and he’s happy to refer me to a periodontist. I kept a poker face but my mind went into panic mode. 

Now…a bit of background:  (yes, you are going to hear about my teeth)  I have pretty good teeth. When I was a kid, the dentist suggested braces. My mother thought that was expensive nonsense. She was right. I got a husband anyway.  And I never had any of the awful dental problems that dentist predicted.  

In my 20’s and 30’s every dentist insisted I get my wisdom teeth removed. They seemed OK to me, but they warned me if I don’t have them removed by 40, it would become a REALLY BIG DEAL.  Hearing the same scary predictions from 5 different dentists, at age 40, I had them removed.  

Quite the hero, sans wisdom teeth, I expected all future dentists to say “Oh…you’ve got great teeth…no problems at all!”  But no.  The minute those wisdom teeth came out, it was “You’ve got deep pockets.  You need a deep cleaning”.  You know when they measure each gum next to each tooth to see how many mm the little pointy thing goes? They should be 3s or 4s. I have 2 spots, way in the back behind my last molars, where the pointy thing is a 7.  That’s a deep pocket. Bacteria can get in. If bacteria gets in then....and…and…and…then your head will fall off.

I’ve had 15 years of nagging to get a deep cleaning and strict instructions how to brush and clean the area near those deep pockets. I’ve heard all the threats of what will happen if I neglect this. I have never gone for a deep cleaning. 

My new dentist did not mention my deep pockets EVEN ONCE.  I asked him, didn’t you find a couple of deep pockets?  Oh yes, but they are behind your molars where your wisdom teeth were removed. Everyone has those. It’s nothing. 

So who is lying????  Who is wrong??  Who do I trust????

As I was puzzling this new news, I got my new hygienist.  Very sweet and pleasant.  And while chipping and chiseling away, she told me the entire story of moving her 86-year-old mother from Alaska to assisted living in Santa Rosa this year. While the saliva pooled under my tongue, I tried not to think about drooling or grafts or crowns and instead to be a good listener and stay present and after spitting, to make supportive remarks like 

<spit>  You did the right thing.  

<spit>  Your mother would have agreed with you on this before she had dementia.  

<spit>  You’re a good daughter.  

<spit>  Yes, I floss every day. Most days.  <smile>

<spit>  OK…I’ll brush better over there in little circles, not up and down.

<spit>  That’s got to be hardest when she doesn’t recognize you. 

<spit>  She knows you love her.

I got out of there after 2-1/2 hours, most of it practicing as an unlicensed therapist while posing as a dental patient.  

So do I worry about my crown and gums?

Do I do as my mother (who has pretty good teeth for her age) and dismiss this as expensive nonsense???

I am walking around with deep pockets. And I don't know if it matters.