What they asked

Off the top of my head, I’ve had 40 paying jobs in my life and about 200 interviews to get them.

My latest job search was this past January in Sonoma County. Before that was a search 12 years ago.  Things have changed.

Job searching today is pretty much like internet dating on eHarmony or Match.com. Companies use algorithms and filtering software to find the resumes with the greatest number of hits that match the job posting. You want your resume to have the highest score of hits to be one of the lucky few that make it into the hiring manager’s inbox. The challenge is to fish out and repeat as many words or phrases from their job posting as you can and use them in your resume while still sounding like yourself.

Once I figured out an efficient process to do that, I started to land interviews. Like a first date, sometimes the unexpected happens.

The most memorable interviews of my work life so far have been these:

Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country

When I was a new college grad and applying for my first administrative jobs, I was asked for a handwriting sample. Could I please write a short paragraph on this piece of paper?

My first thoughts were:

Punishment, write 100 times ‘I will not….’

Criminal investigation.

Sound smart!

Sentences like ‘The quick sly fox jumped over the lazy dog” and “Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country’ were already part of every job application as they were measuring my typing speed.

Except that this happened in Israel and English is not the native language which made this more confusing for me. Graphology is a standard part of every single job application in Israel, even today, but I didn’t know this at my first interview there. 

So, do you play golf?

I had recently met our new 18 year old receptionist, just graduated from high school. As I introduced myself and welcomed her, the CEO and every senior executive stopped by to ask her, “See you Saturday morning? 6am tee time”. She grew up playing golf and joined the highest inner circle of the company during her first week. 

A short while later I was interviewing for the role of Investor Relations Manager at a Silicon Valley start-up.  As the interview was wrapping up, the CFO asked me, “So, do you play golf?”  

If this question comes at the end of an interview, it’s code for ‘you got the job’. 

If asked early in the interview, it’s the most important question of the entire discussion. If you want the job, you must answer Yes. Then go straight to a driving range and start to practice.

The Staring Contest

My interviewer was the CEO of Mercury Interactive, the hottest company in Silicon Valley in 2001. The CEO had resisted having an executive assistant but his staff convinced him that it was time. He ushered me into his office and I sat across from him at a small conference table. My resume was in front of him.

He folded his arms, leaned back and stared at me, without speaking. He leaned forward and began to thumb through my resume flipping the pages back and forth. He sighed loudly, leaned back and continued to stare. He looked me up and down. He squinted. Then he cycled through this process again and again.

I remained completely calm watching his intimidation act, looked him in the eye and maintained my warm-welcome-approachable look.  After a good 5 minutes, he finally asked, “Why are you here?” We talked for an hour.

I didn’t get the job. Mercury missed their numbers and had a hiring freeze. Then the CEO was accused of financial shenanigans and the company went under.

60 Questions

I got a call from American Ag Credit to set up a half hour phone interview with an HR Generalist. At the appointed time, I left my temp job to take the call and sitting in my car in the pouring rain, the HR Generalist told me that she’d be asking me 60 questions that have no right or wrong answers.

My personality test had many questions about my life beyond office hours:  

What do you think about or do when you’re driving alone in your car?

Are you a morning person or a night owl? 

I flunked my personality test. The matchmaker concluded that my potential boss and I were not compatible.

Once a nerve-wracking experience, I now love interviews. Each interview feels like going on stage to do improv like Whose Line Is It Anyway? The more off-the-wall, the better!  When I get an unprepared or inexperienced interviewer, it’s almost disappointing. Then I flip it and subtly steer the conversation in a better direction and deliver my lines to hopefully make the interview relevant and memorable.  One of us has to do the unexpected!