Decraphobia

I diagnosed myself in a doctor’s waiting room. I have decraphobia. 

Don’t worry - I’m OK.  This happened many years ago. I was waiting for my annual eye exam, leafing through Better Homes and Gardens in the waiting room. One of the writers was lamenting that she has had a fear of decorating - and she named it “decraphobia”. I immediately realized that I had it too!

The symptoms of decraphobia are:

-Fear of painting your wall any color other than off-white. 

-Buying neutral practical furniture and blah curtains to match because you’re afraid to buy the ones you really liked

-Buying something beautiful because it spoke to you (like a red and pink hand-embroidered Mexican poncho) and then getting home and being afraid to display it because it will look out-of-place.

One weekend you decide to overcome your fear and take one baby step:  you’ll paint a tiny space pale lavender and see what happens.  Next thing you know, you’re cringing at the awful purple walls - wait, maybe they’ll grow on me - uh no bit mistake - and now you’ve got the nasty chore of painting it off-white again. What’s worse than a boring off-white wall? Going back to an off-white wall. And another 10 years go by until you are brave enough to try another color in another dwelling. 

Having moved often in my adult life, it was easy to not decorate because why invest in a place when you know it’s temporary?  I also made enough mistakes buying something and hating it. I can’t really trust my own taste.  And what is my taste?  I recently took out every decorative item I have had packed in boxes and assembled them in one place and took a good look:  I have not been loyal to any style. I like too many things! And for those who say, your eclectic mix IS your style - trust me - this stuff really doesn’t work together. I am completely stuck!  I get it now!  Unlike my kids who fearlessly used fairy lights and friends' artwork to decorate their rooms much nicer than anything I ever did, I have no natural talent for this and I can’t afford an interior decorator. 

In other words, I’m going to have to find my own treatment and cure for my decraphobia. 

The journey has begun. 

I took the academic approach:  reading design how-to’s and subscribing to decorating blogs. I find Houzz and Pinterest too overwhelming and hardly use them. I went to the library and discovered The New Bohemians by Justina Blakeney which even comes with a workbook that I found useful. I’ve also gravitated to lessons on Hygge - the Danish way to make a home cozy. 

By coincidence, I started a new consulting gig recently where I have a big blank cubicle right when I had just made the big pile of all my decorative things. I followed the rules of Hygge and decorated the cubicle with a pretty rug, small lamps, fairy lights, a couple of ceramic bowls and baskets, a small sketch by my father, a few Indian fabrics and some green sprigs of rosemary and ivy in vases. And I added a coffee and cookies corner with cute little cups from Israel and a bag of freshly ground coffee. The result is very pleasing, a cozy homey little corner. You could almost forget it's an office cubicle. I did it!  

What I’ve learned is this:

-Find a style or two and be loyal to them. Craftsman and Bohemian are the most us.

-Go with things that speak to you, as long as they map to the style. 

-Have patience. It’s going to take years to curate and evolve your style. Don’t buy something just because you think you need it now. The right things will find you some day.

-Don’t wait 10 years to try another color of paint. 

-The Danish people got it right - you can’t go wrong with Hygge.  I really want to visit Denmark.

Decraphobia is treatable. It starts with awareness and learning, then building confidence. For me, decorating falls under “trying new things” - building a new skill that requires some rules and lots of creativity. I’m usually pretty good at that. I have hope!