Back in 1988 I worked for a small medical company in San Diego as a secretary to the Vice President of Sales, Mr. Peterson. When hired, I mentioned to HR and Mr. Peterson that I would be taking days off for all the major Jewish holidays and of course, everyone said they were fine with that.
Until the High Holidays.
Giving a good 2 months notice, I informed Mr. Peterson and Darlene, the President’s secretary, which days in September I would be out. That’s when Darlene (Queen Bee) said I could not take off on Yom Kippur because the other two secretaries would be on vacation that day and there would not be enough coverage. I had never been asked to cover for anyone and no one had ever covered for me, so this was an odd excuse.
I politely told Darlene that this is a major religious holiday, my boss and HR approved my days off, and I will not be at work that day but maybe they could not pay me and hire a temp instead. Within no time, things escalated and the President came to tell me that if I didn’t work that day, I would be fired.
We had one other Jewish employee, an older gentleman and an executive, who took me aside and asked me to please come to work on Yom Kippur. “What’s the big deal? So you miss one holiday? You’re making all of us Jews look bad.” It was one of my first experiences standing up to a superior at the office, and an elder, and saying, “shame on you!” We were perhaps two generations apart in age which may have partly explained the difference. Before the law changed in the 1960’s, you could get fired for taking a religious holiday off without your employer’s permission.
Being young and inexperienced, I called my synagogue to ask for advice. “Call the Jewish Anti Defamation League”. I did. I think I left a message on their answering machine (very ’80’s)
The next afternoon at work, the President came storming over to my desk and yelled at me in front of a room full of people: “If you think you’re going to intimidate me with some loud-mouth lawyer, you’re wrong, young lady. If you don’t work that day, I will personally fire you.”
I guess the ADL sent a lawyer, unannounced, to barge into the President’s office to threaten him. I never met the guy.
I took the day off.
There were several happy endings to this story.
I was not fired.
I resigned a couple of weeks later.
Mr. Peterson and the secretary who replaced me fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after.
At a young age, I strengthened my convictions about standing up for my rights and what I believe in. When do you go along with things to make problems go away and when do you fight for what’s right? I stood my ground in the storm which was really hard. I learned about egos and empty threats and about the concept of religious freedom.
During the High Holiday season, I have found that the act of asking for the days off and letting managers and coworkers know when I’ll be out of the office and why is a ritual on its own. The ritual has its own phrases uttered, preparations, stories and repetitions.
And after that comes the ritual of sending out Rosh Hashanah cards.
May you be inscribed in the Book of Life. Happy 5779!